As our parents age, it is common to notice changes.  

Do they seem a little wobbly on their feet? Did they forget that important date? Are things just a little dustier at home? Didn’t they just ask that question ten minutes ago? 

These concerns make adult children begin to wonder; at what point should they step in? But there are many things to consider here. 

• When do physical or cognitive declines require further assistance? 

• Is it more important to have independence? 

• Should there be support in place just in case things get worse? 

• Should we check in more to make sure everything is ok? 

• Does this invade the parent’s need for privacy?  

The desire of adult children to fix things can make parents feel criticised, patronised or at risk of  losing their independence. The most important thing to keep in mind when navigating these situations is open, honest communication. Any changes (unless the parent has serious cognitive issues) should be decided together.  

There seems to be a stigma around older adults and getting help. We need to lose the stigma around ‘If I get help I am no longer independent’. Receiving help actually promotes staying independent at home. 

As positive child/parent relationships can be vital for good health and longevity for older adults, sometimes getting a third party to help with basic tasks and monitor any changes can reduce stress and pressure for everyone.